Did I really run around the Colon with a red wig on...?

On Sunday morning, around 9am... I slowly opened my eyes, stretched and sleepily thought to myself, "What did I get up to last night?"

And that's when it all came flooding back to me - a bombardment of sounds and images as I rolled over and wished desperately I could just go back to sleep rather than battle through the rapid onset of loser complex...

 

It all started with an innocent dinner at Espressos with Kay, Aye and Mib. A couple of mojitos later... we all decided it was time to hit The Colon. Apon arrival at the entrance, the bouncer asked me if I was married. I said no... and he then asked how I feel about dating black men. Now I've been in this situation before and this is an impossible question to answer - especially with a few mojitos down the hatch. If I say I have no problem with dating black men, then the man in question will automatically assume he's completely in there. If I say I'm not interested - then I look racist. I decided to go with the first response, to which he asked, when would I like to get married? I said I'm not planning to get married for at least the next five years - and he responded by asking if he could add his cv to my pile of candidates. At this point, Mib decided it would be best to quickly usher me inside.

 

We headed straight to the bar to order our John Deere jug - and sat ourselves down at a table. This is when the evening started to take a turn...

 

I'm not sure exactly who's idea it was, but I'm thinking it was Aye who suggested that we all play a game of 'Truth or Dare' - which really turned into a game of 'Dare and Dare'. We decided to carry them out in teams of two - with Aye and I on one team, and Kay and Mib on the other. Kay and Mib were up first and we dared them to get a guy to give them a sip of their drink. Easy enough - they took it straight out of some boy's John Deere jug and they were back within 2 minutes.

 

Next up, Aye and myself, dared to get a boy to buy us drinks. Now this is a little more difficult. Girls can't really just walk up to a boy and ask him to buy her and her friend a drink... some ground work has to be put in first. So we locked in on one of the boys standing close to the bar. Aye and I spoke to him with wide-eyed enthusiasm, laughing hysterically at his jokes and hanging onto every word. After about 5 minutes of this, he asked: "So where's your alcohol??" And we replied: "Yes.... where is the alcohol???" Shortly ofterwards, Aye and I both had a complimentary suitcase in our hands.

 

So Kay and Mib were up again - dared to get a boy to take off his shirt. This took them forever and eventually after 20 minutes they were back, with no shirtless men in tow, but a fist full of money. For some reason everytime they asked a guy to take off his shirt he gave them money instead... weird.

 

Kay then dragged a boy across to the table and asked him to at least lift up his shirt - which he did. (Not too bad to look at either).

 

At this point, the table we were sitting at was surrounded by a herd of women having a bachelorettes party. The bachelorette had a bright red wig on and a devil's trident. They also had plastic penis necklaces around their necks. Aye and I were dared to don their apparel and round around The Colon. So there we were - red wig on and plastic penis around my head - Aye with devil's trident in hand and plastic penis around her head, running around The Colon. Not my finest moment...

 

Thankfully, this brought the game of Dare and Dare to a close. And we decided it was time to do a little dancing...

 

So on the way to the dance floor, I saw a boy I had known since matric, we'll call him St Davids - He's always been on the snoggable list so I asked him if he was going to come jam with us. So there we were on the dancefloor - I like the way you move was playing over the speakers and St Davids was dancing away, whipping out his most sexy moves. Even in my drunken state I was struggling not to burst into hysterical laughter. About 5 seconds later we were locked in a bit of a smooch session... awful kisser.

 

I don't understand how a boy like St Davids - who is very cute and snoggable can have no idea how completely wrong he is getting it. He was one of those 'I'm trying to swallow you whole' kissers. Bad bad bad.... the odd thing is that he is the second boy by that name that I've smooched in the last year who has kissed in exactly the same way... so no more men by that name for me.

 

I've also discovered since Saturday night that my No. 1 crush may have been at The Colon too. This is bad for several reasons - firstly because I intentially wanted to snog someone in the hope of maybe alleviating some of the intensity of my crush on No. 1 - but I would be extremely unhappy if No. 1 actualy witnessed my smooching session. Secondly, I don't really like the thought that I may have run past No.1 with a red wig on and a plastic penis wrapped around my head.

 

Oh well... time will tell...

 

P.S. - Watched 300 last night.... my god... Awesomeamazingsuperfantastic!