As a self-diagnosed reality tv junkie – there is one annoying trend I've noticed to be very prevalent amongst many of my favourite shows.
Scene: American Idol's stage with pubescent JoJo wannabe belting out a Tony Bennett hit from the 1950s (seriously… Tony Bennett? Is there anything more mind-numbingly snore-worthy?)
Randy: "That was hot dawg… a little pitchy here and there, but that was hot!"
Paula: (slurring and concentrating on keeping her head upright) You….. you….. are amazzzzinging…
Simon: That sounded like a grandmother with a tracheotomy singing karaoke on a cruise ship… what were you thinking?!?
(And here comes the line that sends me running for the razorblades…)
JoJo wannabe: I'm just being true to myself…
Seriously, what the f*ck does this mean?? Every reality television contestant – whether it be Idols, Survivor, Big Brother or the Bachelor - has let this little pop psychology gem slip from their lips.
Is this really accomplishment? Are we expected to pat them on the back with a "Congratulations! You bored us to tears / made us bleed from our ears / triggered an outbreak of hives – but it's cool… you were true to yourself".
What other choice did they have?? I mean hell, I've been myself for almost 26 years now – that should entitle me to a recording contract, $1 million and a wedding with a tall dark stranger in Hawaii at the very least!
And the best part – is that every 'role model' in one of these shows, whether it be a pop sensation or concerned parent – sprouts forth the same inane advice:
Scene: Parents wooden cabin on a lake in Vermont
Bachelor: So Mom and Dad – I think she may really be the one… I mean I know she polished off six bottles of wine this evening, asked to see my bank balance and has named all seven of our future children… but there's such chemistry. What do you think?
Dad: Well Son… just be true to yourself.
Bachelor: (eyes welling up with tears) Thanks Pop.
So this begs the question…. Why do I continue to watch this total crap?
Well… I'm just being true to myself.
3 comments:
If you love Idols, have you read Ben Elton's Chart Throb yet? It totally changes the way you watch these shows and it's very cynical :)
maybe we just enjoy watching others humiliation, makes us feel better about ourselves.
I agree, why do you watch that crap, knowing you I recall you being highly intelligent and fantastic all round. Shows like these are for mental midgets. But I suppose we all do stuff that numbs our brains so you may carry on :-)
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