A letter to 13 year old MsMozi

I've been inspired by the work of Lordwiggly, Sweetass and Living Bridget, so here goes...

First of all, you need to tell your mom that it’s time for her to stop cutting your hair and go to a real hairdresser. The skew curtain of a fringe isn’t working and this may be the reason you haven’t managed to kiss, sorry I mean ‘grab’ a boy yet.

You’ve just arrived at your uptight all-girls’ school and you’re worried about not fitting in. The strange goth girls have befriended you and all the other girls are telling you to stay away from them. Although you’re probably going to listen to them, you’d be much better off if you didn’t because you end up befriending this bunch again in Std 9. You’re still hanging onto your two primary school friends and think that they’ll be your best friends for ever and ever. Well, here’s some news for you – by the time you’re 21 you’re not friends with either of them anymore. They’re both really bad for you and the sooner you get them out of your life the better.

You’re probably going to completely ignore Kay throughout your entire high school experience but she ends up being one of the greatest people in your life as you get older, so maybe you should start spending some more time with her now.

I know you’re spending hours in your room, longingly starting at your posters of Take That (actually, perhaps you should take those off the walls) dreaming about meeting a wonderful boy and wondering what’s wrong with you – but you’re wasting your time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are going to be pursued by many wonderful boys later on, so just enjoy being young!

Now I’m going to tell you something a little scary – but try and remember that your 26 year old self is still around to write this so it doesn’t turn out too badly. In two years time a doctor is going to discover that you’re really really sick. Now don’t panic…. But what’s going to follow is months of surgery, radiation and hospital time. Your parents are going to completely fall apart and you’re going to feel like you have to put on a brave face for them – but don’t. This is half the reason you got sick in the first place – you need to start talking about your problems instead of just pretending everything is okay all the time. Your friends and family will love you anyway and it’ll be much better if you learn this before you turn 21 and have to write off an entire year to learn how you should really be living your life.

After you get out of hospital – boys are finally going to start taking notice of you. You’re going to meet your first boyfriend and you are a complete bitch to him. This behaviour is completely unnecessary - I know this dating thing is all new to you, but you should really try and treat him with a bit more kindness during the course of your epic three week relationship. Before the end of Std 8 you’re going to have your first kiss in a movie theatre while watching Independence Day and you’re going to hate it (the kiss, not the movie). Don’t worry – it really does get much better than that.

At the end of Std 9 you’re going to fall in love for the first time. You’re going to date this boy for two years and a year of this will be long distance. You’re going to experience highs and lows like never before and even 13 years later you’ll still look back on the relationship and smile. He’s going to be your first for a lot of things and he’s just the right candidate. Enjoy it!

After you finish matric, you start being a real pain in the ass and drive our parents crazy. Try and be a little more considerate to mom and dad. They’re the best parents in the world and you know it… and besides, for the rest of your life they bring up this ‘problem year’ and make you feel guilty about it – so rather save us the complaining and just be nicer to them – okay?

And also try and put a little more work in when it comes to your relationship with your brother. By the time’s you’re 26 you have almost no relationship with him at all. Perhaps if you put more effort in earlier on it won’t get to this point.

You’re going to go on to travel, study and eventually work – and you have a pretty good attitude when it comes to balancing all of these elements. Don’t ever feel like you’re not doing enough – your priorities are just different to everyone else’s and you don’t need to make excuses for this. In fact, stop comparing yourself with others and don’t ever feel like you need to live up to someone else’s expectations. You’ll eventually learn that people’s motives aren’t always good, and although it’s a hard lesson, you’ll find it very liberating.

Stop worrying - you turn out pretty good later on – healthy, happy with strong relationships, mostly with people you don’t even know exist right now. You’re going to get intense joy out of life and walk around smiling most of the time. Don’t sweat the small stuff – things tend to always go your way at the end of the day.