The wrath of The Evil PA

A few months ago, FD found himself in the unfortunate situation of his long-term PA leaving to take on a half-day job at another company.
Although fairly glum about it at the time, he had no idea that this would set off the cataclysmic set of events that followed her exit (okay... cataclysmic is a little dramatic).

He embarked on a search for a replacement, and his requirements were quite simple. A people person, who’s comfortable on the phone, can deal with admin efficiently, and shows an interest in the creative field his company is involved in. Easy huh?

Au contraire.

Enter – The Evil PA.

She seemed nice enough at the time – a fairly quiet and diminutive middle-aged woman, a facade which hid the true wickedness that lurked within.

The first week seemed okay... she functioned fairly normally as FD showed her the ropes. But by week two, things started to crumble. At the end of the day, FD told me that he was quite concerned over the erratic behaviour of The Evil PA. She would walk into his office, and start pacing up and down, while she asked him questions, refusing to leave for about 30 minutes at a time. I acknowledged that this was a little bit odd. But we shrugged it off as new job jitters.

Half way through Week 2 – at around 6am, FD’s phone beeped with an SMS from The Evil PA. She wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be coming into work. FD was almost relieved, but disappointed that he was going to have to spend the day fielding calls from clients. The next day, once again at 6am, the phone beeped with another SMS saying she wouldn’t be in. And the same the following day. Three days off within two weeks of working at a new company was definitely weird.

The next week she finally came into work, and FD asked her what was wrong. She said there was something wrong with, and I quote, her brain. Fabulous. She said she had been visiting a neurosurgeon to find out what was wrong with her because she was having ‘episodes’. By this stage, the red light was blinking frantically, and I encouraged FD to send her on her loony way. But FD is soft-hearted, and couldn’t bring himself to do it.

The next day she came in with a blue tongue. FD admitted that this was definitely getting creepy.

The following weeks involved many early morning SMS informing FD that she wasn’t feeling up to coming into work – including once when she said it was because” it was that time of the month”. Eventually, FD realised that it wasn’t working out – and gave her the option of leaving at full pay for the rest of the month (even though she was still on probation at this stage) – and she took it.
But this was not to be the end of The Evil PA. She started phoning him at all hours over the weekend, swearing down the phone, and crying, saying that he had tricked her. And then it all culminated with a phone call from her lawyer niece, saying that she would be taking him to the CCMA and he has since been summoned with court papers.

And now poor FD is too traumatised to hire someone new, for fear of the enduring the wrath another evil PA all over again.

Being a protective girlfriend, I’m inclined to hunt down The Evil PA and give her a piece of my mind. But her blue tongue scares me.

PS – this is my 100th post – woohoo!!!!