I moved into my apartment about two and a half years ago. I couldn’t believe my luck - spacious, sunny and secure… what a find!
Everything moved along swimmingly, until one evening, I heard screams coming from the apartment underneath me. It was a couple caught in the middle of a crazy argument, and initially I was intrigued. I turned down the television and listened closely to try and understand the gist of what they were fighting about. Little did I realise that this would happen all night, every night…
Crazy Man: You’re making me crazy!!!
Crazy Woman: Why???
Crazy Man: Shut up!!!
Crazy Woman: Why???
Crazy Man: Get away from me!!!
Crazy Woman: Why???
You get the picture.
I learnt to live with it and block it out, until one early evening, a group of friends were having drinks at my place and we were laughing and chatting. The next thing someone started bashing hysterically on my door. Me and my complete lack of survival instinct, opened the door, only to find Crazy Woman looking crazier than ever on the other side. She proceeded to march into my lounge and accuse my poor mates of being too rowdy. Eventually, the threat of her imminent arrest managed to get her out of my apartment.
Since then she’s left me alone, but I’ve come to realise the true craziness of the Crazy Woman. I’ve seen her talking to trees, walking around the communal gardens in nothing but a bra (still trying to get that image out of my head), and commenting to men moving furniture out of a truck that she loved their horse.
I think television series like Melrose Place are to blame, but I always imagined I’d be living in a complex filled with young, attractive and dynamic people. At no point did Crazy Woman (or Crazy Man) fit into the picture. I think there should be a system in place where potential residents should fill in forms and provide full length body photographs to determine whether they make the grade. It would be nirvana in the middle of Sandton. Paradise.
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5 comments:
OMG ROFL. I moved into my place Oct 2004, in Sandton- LoL. And trust me, people are no less crazy, and the attrative people are no where to be found.. I just sigh
phlippy - life can be so unfair. The weird part is when I first went to look at my apartment, I saw two gorgeous men driving around inside the complex. It was probably half the reason I chose to move there in the first place. Now I reckon the estate agent hired them as part of her sales pitch.
You would think Sandton would be jam-packed with attractive people - where do you reckon they all are???
ROFL - can't say where they are really - hiding from stalkers like us ;-). I love the estate agent ploy
MsMozi lets start our own Melrose Place like complex...in Melrose! Only ridiculously hot men and women need apply! (I would get in by default being the co-owner and all ;o)
lordwiggly - you are a genius. I do think we should set some ground rules first though:
1) All ridiculously hot men will have to walk around the complex shirtless - at all times.
2) All above mentioned shirtless ridiculously hot men must be single and devoid of baggage.
3) All above mentioned shirtless single ridiculously hot men will take shifts cleaning my apartment and cooking me dinner.
4) Please replace all references to 'ridiculously hot men' and insert 'ridiculously hot women' in accordance with the rules of co-owner lordwiggly.
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