Last night was spent with the girls, Aye, Kay and newest recruit Jop, having dinner at La Meridiana in Craighall (best gnocchi in Joburg). Jop is a close friend of The Fugitive, and although I’ve known her for quite a while now, she’s only grown on me in the last year or two. She’s got the sharpest wit I’ve ever come across but is also completely wild, and has often been spotted giving lap dances to strangers at the Colony. But for the last two years, she’s settled into a serious relationship and calmed down substantially.
With Aye and Jop both in relationships and Kay and I both single, naturally we got onto the subject of relationships vs single life.
Jop declared that she was happiest when single. Which begs the question… why ever get involved?
Is it possible to get everything you need without entering into an exclusive relationship?
From previous relationship experience, I’ve always found the support I’ve gotten from friends and family to outweigh that from my significant other. On top of that, my friends rarely, if ever, complain or get annoyed with things I say or do. There’s no shortage of ways to fill the time, and there’s almost no need to ever compromise. Sex is a tricky one… because for many, this is something readily available to them outside of relationships, but that’s a route I’m unlikely to ever take. Is sex reason enough to want a boyfriend?
And another question… is it ever possible to stay true to your single self within a relationship? Is it possible to be with someone else and not change… whether it’s by calming down or getting more needy as a result of the need to please someone else.
Yes… this post is a bit all over the place… and I don’t have the answers to any of these questions.
Oh and while I’m at it – a quick update on my dire romantic situation. Despite saying I would give Electric a chance, I’ve decided against it. The more I got to know about him, the more I realised he definitely wasn’t for me. To meet up with someone, knowing that there’s a 99,9% chance that nothing will ever happen between the two of you feels wrong. I also haven’t heard from the Soldier for about two weeks.
But on a slightly positive note, I am finally meeting up with the Plumber/Lawyer again this evening for post-work drinkles… and Rock Climber has suddenly reignited contact via Facebook and will be in Jozi within in the next few weeks.
2 comments:
Wow you have a lot of men on the horizon MsMozi ;)
I think that the main aspect that I enjoy from being single is the ability to do what I want, when I want, not worry when I have to work late that someone is relying on me and basically just being able to control my own life and be selfish about it.
So when I'm in a relationship I miss all that but when I'm single I miss all the good things about being in a relationship!
It's a vicious cycle :(
Interesting post. The sex part is tricky, yes. I suppose a happy medium would be to have someone in the same 'single' headspace but reserve their loins just for you? Never works in practice tho.
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