So I’ve finally gotten around to writing the sequel to this post.
This is thanks to Aye’s boyfriend who last night at Giles educated me on a couple of new rules and laws that come into play on the dating scene. Each rule was demonstrated using the salt and pepper shakers, a stray chip, an ashtray, a box of cigarettes (don’t worry, not mine – a month later and still going strong) and a lighter.
1) The Lemon Law
According to this law, if a guy finds something fundamentally offensive about his date (much like biting into a lemon) – he has exactly five minutes to get out of it before it starts getting complicated. This usually means that within the first five minutes, the boy will excuse himself to go to the bathroom and while there phone his mate with instructions to call and fake a scenario to get him away.
2) The Fat Friend Rule
This is a really weird one. According to Aye’s boyfriend, when ever a guy is interested in a girl, she brings her most unattractive and overweight friend along on the next date. The guy will then flirt as much as possible with the fat friend in order to make the girl he’s actually interested in insecure. I don’t really get this one, but apparently the fat friend rule is widely acknowledged.
3) The Smoke Rule
Now if you thought the fat friend rule was a weird one – this one will knock your socks off. This rule comes into play when a guy brings the girl he’s interested in to a braai at his friend’s house. When the girl comes to join the guys at the braai, they will maneuvre themselves around until the girl is standing in the exact spot where all the smoke is blowing. If she can stick it out for longer than two minutes she’s a keeper.
Unfortunately at this point, Aye’s boyfriend realised he was betraying his brotherhood and refused to impart any more wisdom. Aye and I begged and pleaded but he refused to budge. I even began to use the analogy of him sending me off, unarmed, to battle with 300 Spartans… and that it was his duty to at least hand me a sword so I had a fraction of a chance of survival. But it didn’t work.
He did admit, in the end, that if a guy is really interested in a girl there are no rules at all.
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2 comments:
and they say woman are weird... i don't get guys, i try my best... but i don't... thank goodness for your last sentence!!! i think that also apply when the guy is really horny...not really interested, just horny! lol!
I don't understand what being able to withstand all of the smoke means to the friends ...
That she can put up with a load of foul smelling air for a long period of time? I mean seriously ...
The fat friend one is STRANGE.
Boys are strange.
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