Yikes... another year older.
How on earth did that happen so quickly?? And most concerning of all... the dreaded ‘30’ is moving ever closer. I only have another two birthdays of twentiness before I'm over the hill.
Despite this, the birthday has been fab. It began with coffee and presents in bed from FD – followed by him cooking me breakfast. Got into my car to go to work and saw two envelopes stuffed under my windscreen wiper – cards from my parents who I’ll be seeing tonight for dinner. Found my desk at work heavily adorned with ‘Happy Birthday’ signs and birthday confetti. Got a pressie from some folks in the office, as well as an assortment of wicked baked goods.
But other than that, I’m keeping it a fairly sedate one, celebrating only with dinner tonight with the folks, FD, Aye and Kay once she arrives back from Cape Town.
So anyway... back to the point... another year older – and what has changed?
A LOT!
This time last year I was partying like a mad thing, still a smoker, planning a snowboarding trip to Tiffindell and about to embark on a silly fling with ol’ DJ – the man of zero self respect. I was pretty much perpetually swept up in a buzz of excitement and energy. On the other hand, I was partially longing for the security of a ‘significant other’ in my life and trying to fill the gap with an over reliance on my friends.
Now I’m a non-smoker (8 and ½ months and going strong), I’m hardly partying at all and not missing it too much to be honest. Unfortunately, along with that comes a certain amount of distance from beloved friends. As my dearest Aye and Kay prepare to leave SA indefinitely, I’m starting to realise the gaping hole that’s going to be left after they jet off. I wish I was planning to head off to Tiffindell in the next month or two, but I’ll survive this as FD and I are starting to look into a mega European snowboarding trip in December. And I don’t need to go into the relationship change that’s happened over the past year... I think I drone on quite enough about FD on this blog, so I’ll spare ya this time.
Things are going well... actually, they’re going fantastically well in all arenas. Despite this, I’m feeling a little bit unsettled. I feel like something needs to change. I was discussing this with Aye last night over drinks, and she says it’s not strange at all – even though things are going well, they’re almost too stable, and I’m craving a change so that I can grow. I think she’s probably right. On one hand I feel like a fool for craving the change instead of focusing on the things I’m being blessed with – but I just can’t help it. I’m craving that buzz... I need to head off into the unknown for a while – but there’s no doubt I want FD alongside me for the ride.
I need to do some serious thinking. And something has to change.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
A week after the chaos...
First of all – thanks to everyone for the comments. Your words definitely help put things into perspective and helped me make out the downward spiral I was about to leap into.
I’m happy to report that both FD and I have recovered from the events that unfolded last week. As clichéd as it sounds, I’ve taken a lot away from the drama of last Friday. I’ve realised that one of the most beautiful things about our relationship is that we don’t ever try and control each other – so to try and stop FD from doing something he really wants to do can only be counterproductive. My only reason for ever trying to stop him from doing these wild things was concern for his safety – which boils down to me not ever wanting to imagine him not being in my life. Stopping him from embarking on all the mad adventures his heart longs for is a sure fire way of ensuring that one day him and I will part ways. Of all the vices a man can have – FDs ‘wanderlust’ as Lopz so aptly described it, is hardly a problem at all.
Moving on!!
I can’t believe how many young South Africans are flocking out of the country all of a sudden! In the past few weeks, I’ve had to digest the news that Kay, Aye and BMXer are all leaving the country in the near future. BMXer phoned me en route to the airport to say that he’s decided to move to Scotland, Aye is off to Germany after a series of several dramatic twists and turns in her life and Kay decided a few weeks ago that she’s in need of a new and environment and some adventure and is heading off to do the London thing.
South Africa has certainly had it’s fair share of problems in the past few months – with some losing a little hope and faith in the powers that be – but I don’t think this has much to do with everyone’s decision to leave all of a sudden. I think it’s got a lot more to do with the weird stage of our lives my friends and I are entering into. Suddenly partying like a mad thing is only fun once in a while, friends are beginning to settle down around us and our jobs are no longer just jobs, they’re potential careers. The big 3 0 is approaching rapidly and we’re all feeling a little unnerved.
Do we like the direction we’re headed? Sadly, I think the answer for most is no. And I’m no exception. Certain aspects of my life are exactly as I want them to be – but others are severely lacking. Going overseas and heading into a completely new and fresh environment means that all that can be changed... but can the same be done while staying on home ground? I think it can happen, but it’s a lot harder as old routine makes it easy for us to play out the same day over and over.
I’m sensing big changes are on the horizon... and I’m quite excited to see exactly how it’s all going to play out!
I’m happy to report that both FD and I have recovered from the events that unfolded last week. As clichéd as it sounds, I’ve taken a lot away from the drama of last Friday. I’ve realised that one of the most beautiful things about our relationship is that we don’t ever try and control each other – so to try and stop FD from doing something he really wants to do can only be counterproductive. My only reason for ever trying to stop him from doing these wild things was concern for his safety – which boils down to me not ever wanting to imagine him not being in my life. Stopping him from embarking on all the mad adventures his heart longs for is a sure fire way of ensuring that one day him and I will part ways. Of all the vices a man can have – FDs ‘wanderlust’ as Lopz so aptly described it, is hardly a problem at all.
Moving on!!
I can’t believe how many young South Africans are flocking out of the country all of a sudden! In the past few weeks, I’ve had to digest the news that Kay, Aye and BMXer are all leaving the country in the near future. BMXer phoned me en route to the airport to say that he’s decided to move to Scotland, Aye is off to Germany after a series of several dramatic twists and turns in her life and Kay decided a few weeks ago that she’s in need of a new and environment and some adventure and is heading off to do the London thing.
South Africa has certainly had it’s fair share of problems in the past few months – with some losing a little hope and faith in the powers that be – but I don’t think this has much to do with everyone’s decision to leave all of a sudden. I think it’s got a lot more to do with the weird stage of our lives my friends and I are entering into. Suddenly partying like a mad thing is only fun once in a while, friends are beginning to settle down around us and our jobs are no longer just jobs, they’re potential careers. The big 3 0 is approaching rapidly and we’re all feeling a little unnerved.
Do we like the direction we’re headed? Sadly, I think the answer for most is no. And I’m no exception. Certain aspects of my life are exactly as I want them to be – but others are severely lacking. Going overseas and heading into a completely new and fresh environment means that all that can be changed... but can the same be done while staying on home ground? I think it can happen, but it’s a lot harder as old routine makes it easy for us to play out the same day over and over.
I’m sensing big changes are on the horizon... and I’m quite excited to see exactly how it’s all going to play out!
Monday, April 14, 2008
First fights
FD and I had our first fight on Friday night.
Although I know I should be impressed with the fact that we managed to avoid conflict for six whole months, a part of me honestly believed that we would escape ever having to argue about anything.
It was friggen awful – the whole thing triggered by FD’s decision to buy a motorbike on Friday afternoon and ended up with FD making some pretty hurtful statements about how he feels that he’s in a lose/lose situation – because he feels he needs to choose between navigating mountain tops and being with me. It was confusing, upsetting and enraging all at once and left both of us feeling completely overwhelmed and disorientated.
FD was up most of the night and when I woke up in the morning, I found him in a complete state, devastated about having upset me.
Even though we had ‘sort of’ resolved issues by Saturday morning, I felt pretty out of it the whole weekend, and still feel the same way today. I’m suddenly feeling a lot less safe and secure, and internally questioning FD’s headspace constantly – trying to feel out what he’s thinking without actually asking him.
It’s completely new territory and I don’t have a clue how to handle it. I’m desperate for things to be exactly as they were before.
I can’t imagine my life without him in it, and as much as he’s done to try and reassure me that he wasn’t considering walking away from our relationship, I’m finding it difficult to completely believe him.
What it boils down to at the end of the day, is that I was carrying on in my happy little bubble, almost oblivious that FD was spending as much time as he was agonising over the fact that he isn’t off conquering and exploring untamed territories. I had some idea that he was a little worried about these things, but I asked him about it once, and his response was that he can’t handle being apart from me for a day – so how would he ever be able to go off exploring for months at a time. And I believed it and carried on – but it wasn’t the end of those thoughts for him.
So where do I go to from here? Knowing that there’s a chance that FD’s actually secretly desperately unhappy but not vocalising any of it? Can I just carry on imagining our lives together forever, while he may secretly be feeling the opposite?
I’m hoping that over the next few days all these insecure feelings will disappear...
Although I know I should be impressed with the fact that we managed to avoid conflict for six whole months, a part of me honestly believed that we would escape ever having to argue about anything.
It was friggen awful – the whole thing triggered by FD’s decision to buy a motorbike on Friday afternoon and ended up with FD making some pretty hurtful statements about how he feels that he’s in a lose/lose situation – because he feels he needs to choose between navigating mountain tops and being with me. It was confusing, upsetting and enraging all at once and left both of us feeling completely overwhelmed and disorientated.
FD was up most of the night and when I woke up in the morning, I found him in a complete state, devastated about having upset me.
Even though we had ‘sort of’ resolved issues by Saturday morning, I felt pretty out of it the whole weekend, and still feel the same way today. I’m suddenly feeling a lot less safe and secure, and internally questioning FD’s headspace constantly – trying to feel out what he’s thinking without actually asking him.
It’s completely new territory and I don’t have a clue how to handle it. I’m desperate for things to be exactly as they were before.
I can’t imagine my life without him in it, and as much as he’s done to try and reassure me that he wasn’t considering walking away from our relationship, I’m finding it difficult to completely believe him.
What it boils down to at the end of the day, is that I was carrying on in my happy little bubble, almost oblivious that FD was spending as much time as he was agonising over the fact that he isn’t off conquering and exploring untamed territories. I had some idea that he was a little worried about these things, but I asked him about it once, and his response was that he can’t handle being apart from me for a day – so how would he ever be able to go off exploring for months at a time. And I believed it and carried on – but it wasn’t the end of those thoughts for him.
So where do I go to from here? Knowing that there’s a chance that FD’s actually secretly desperately unhappy but not vocalising any of it? Can I just carry on imagining our lives together forever, while he may secretly be feeling the opposite?
I’m hoping that over the next few days all these insecure feelings will disappear...
Monday, March 31, 2008
I love you...but...
So if you love someone – you should never try and change them. I’ve always been a big believer in this... trying to change someone you love calls into question whether you actually love them at all.
But I’m starting to find that it’s a little difficult to put into practice.
As I’ve voiced fairly excessively, I’m head over heels for FD. One of the reasons I’m nuts about him is his wild and adventurous ways. I’ve got my own Camel man and it’s quite fabulous. But he has this undeniably need to do incredibly crazy things. While the rest of the world scuba dives, FD free dives; while the rest of the world swims in rock pools, he’s diving head first off the bridge above it and while the rest of the world skydives, FD base jumps (not yet, but definitely on the cards).
He has huge dreams about summiting the world’s highest peaks – including one called Annapurna – where 1 out 3 mountaineers die in the process.
All of this is so much a part of him... but also leaves me feeling so unsettled – where does a little Sandton chick fit in with all of this?
On one hand it’s made me question my priorities, my attachments, all the things that I’ve thought were so important in my life and I’ve realised I don’t need most of it to be happy. But having said that – there’s no way I’ll be standing next to FD as he digs his snow cave for the night as we climb the world’s highest mountains. I’ll climb up a rock face at Hartebeespoort Dam once a week and I’ll even enjoy it, but that’s quite a different thing.
So where do we meet? I can’t change him, and he can’t change me... but will this eventually lead to one of us resenting the other as we compromise on what we want? I really hope not.
But I’m starting to find that it’s a little difficult to put into practice.
As I’ve voiced fairly excessively, I’m head over heels for FD. One of the reasons I’m nuts about him is his wild and adventurous ways. I’ve got my own Camel man and it’s quite fabulous. But he has this undeniably need to do incredibly crazy things. While the rest of the world scuba dives, FD free dives; while the rest of the world swims in rock pools, he’s diving head first off the bridge above it and while the rest of the world skydives, FD base jumps (not yet, but definitely on the cards).
He has huge dreams about summiting the world’s highest peaks – including one called Annapurna – where 1 out 3 mountaineers die in the process.
All of this is so much a part of him... but also leaves me feeling so unsettled – where does a little Sandton chick fit in with all of this?
On one hand it’s made me question my priorities, my attachments, all the things that I’ve thought were so important in my life and I’ve realised I don’t need most of it to be happy. But having said that – there’s no way I’ll be standing next to FD as he digs his snow cave for the night as we climb the world’s highest mountains. I’ll climb up a rock face at Hartebeespoort Dam once a week and I’ll even enjoy it, but that’s quite a different thing.
So where do we meet? I can’t change him, and he can’t change me... but will this eventually lead to one of us resenting the other as we compromise on what we want? I really hope not.
Friday, March 28, 2008
It's been a while...
Oops.I’ve been quiet. This is not on account of a cleaning/lasagne cooking/jersey knitting domestification spree – as you might have guessed from the previous post. It’s really just on account of not being able to face a computer screen at the end a spate of overworkedness. (Apparently since I’ve returned I’ve begun to enjoy making up words).
But other than the craziness of the working day – life has been good.Here’s what’s happened in the past two months:
I’m back!
But other than the craziness of the working day – life has been good.Here’s what’s happened in the past two months:
- I went to Mauritius for a holiday with FD. The place is heaven on earth. I could live there. I don’t usually wonder what it would be like to live in a country I visit, but this time we were staying in FD’s cousin’s house – so it made me imagine what it would be like to call Mauritius home. We met quite a few South Africans that live in the area. I’ve never felt so insanely jealous over some else’s lifestyle, as I felt then.
- I’ve climbed two 17s... only climbers aka Miss M will appreciate this fact, but I’m pretty proud of it. I’ve also blown my budget on climbing shoes and a harness. But they are both super flash and I’m loving them. (Even though the shoes make my feet orange)
- I’ve got someone reporting to me at work, for the first time ever. I don’t know that I’m boss material.
- I went to Coke Fest... ugh... hated it. Left after Good Charlotte. Of course everyone I know says the concert only got good after that point, but I don’t believe them.
- I’ve begun planning a trip to Namibia – woohoo!
- I’m pretty keen to move to Cape Town. FD and I have set a deadline of two years to make the move.
- I’m still insanely-besottedly-head-over-heels-can’t-see-straight-crazy-in-love with FD.
So apparently I haven’t been up to much at all! Anyways – this was just a quick catch up post to say...
I’m back!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Domestification of MsMozi
Something weird is going on… I’ve turned into Martha Stewart.
I made a lasagne from scratch on Tuesday night. I’ve never attempted anything of the sort in my entire life. I was one step away from pounding eggs and flour together and making my own pasta sheets.
It all began after returning from Phase III and IV of the December road trip (which I didn’t get around to blogging about). It seems that something about staying in tents and backpackers and living off 2 minute noodles and other items that require no refrigeration for a week made me crave domestication.
My dishes are always gleaming and surfaces are scrubbed clean with intense determination.
It’s extremely out of character and making me uneasy.
The first time my mother gave me dishes to dry… (note, I didn’t even have to wash them) I kept pretending to ‘accidentally’ drop them so that she wouldn't ask me to do it anymore. And with regard to cooking, if the preparation required anything more than ‘remove packaging and peel off plastic sleeve’ – I wasn’t interested.
Am I growing up?
I made a lasagne from scratch on Tuesday night. I’ve never attempted anything of the sort in my entire life. I was one step away from pounding eggs and flour together and making my own pasta sheets.
It all began after returning from Phase III and IV of the December road trip (which I didn’t get around to blogging about). It seems that something about staying in tents and backpackers and living off 2 minute noodles and other items that require no refrigeration for a week made me crave domestication.
My dishes are always gleaming and surfaces are scrubbed clean with intense determination.
It’s extremely out of character and making me uneasy.
The first time my mother gave me dishes to dry… (note, I didn’t even have to wash them) I kept pretending to ‘accidentally’ drop them so that she wouldn't ask me to do it anymore. And with regard to cooking, if the preparation required anything more than ‘remove packaging and peel off plastic sleeve’ – I wasn’t interested.
Am I growing up?
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I'm it!
I was tagged by Phillygirl to do a list of 50 things about myself, so here goes...
1. I’m a dog person – especially the tiny, fluffy rat-like kind. Not really the Tinkerbell sort – but my heart turns into warm gooey melted chocolate at the sight of a Yorkshire Terrier.
2. I adore reality television, especially Bachelor-esque ones, I get indescribable joy at watching the claws come out and the snot en trane that accompanies it.
3. Until recently I was a serial monogamist. I went straight from one long term relationship into another until Italian Ex Boyfriend and I broke up and I stayed single for over year before meeting FD.
4. I’ve got a recipe book addiction. I hardly ever cook anything out of them but I love flipping through the pages.
5. I have an extra rib. I didn’t know about it until I put my neck out from sleeping in awkward positions in the bus on a Contiki tour. We had a chiropractor on the tour with us (pretty good luck that was) and when she popped my vertebra back in she pointed out that I had an extra rib where my neck meets my shoulder – apparently it’s pretty common. I still think it sounds pretty weird.
6. I don’t like spa treatments. Yet people always seem to think a spa voucher is the perfect gift – when Italian Ex Boyfriend gave me one for my birthday I knew the relationship was over.
7. I’m not particularly keen on chocolate. Every once in a blue moon I’ll have a craving but a tiny piece is enough to satisfy me for ages after that.
8. I adore epic, fantasy movies… Lord of the Rings, 300 – totally my cup of tea.
9. I’m also a total sci-fi geek. I have Season 1 – 3 of Battlestar Galactica on DVD. I blame my brother – he’s 10 years older than me so I was watching Star Wars from birth.
10. There are certain childhood experiences I completely missed out on. I never watched Mary Poppins, and I’ve never eaten Jungle Oats or Pro Nutro.
11. I don’t like weddings. I like the idea of marriage – but if eventually I could totally skip the wedding part and go on a magical honeymoon instead I’d be a happy camper.
12. It takes a lot to stress me out… no matter how much work demands of me, I’ll usually just switch off before I get stressed. Only strained relationships between friends, family and lovers stress me out.
13. I hate fleamarkets. As soon as I set a foot in one I want to run screaming for the exit.
14. I love musical theatre – I was raised on The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I have a total weakness for Andrew Lloyd Webber productions like Cats, Phantom of the Opera and Jesus Christ Superstar.
15. My family are Jewish – my immediate family (with the exception of my brother) are all non-practicing. I have no interest in it whatsoever. I’ve also never dated a Jewish boy and have no Jewish friends. My mother still has the Jewish insatiable need to feed people though. FD digs it.
16. I could eat sushi every day of my life and never get bored of it.
17. The same goes for most Asian cuisine – especially Thai and Chinese.
18. I want to love scuba diving but I just don’t. I can’t understand it because I love the ocean and have always been a water baby but there’s something about scuba diving that freaks the crap out of me.
19. I used to believe that I should expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised when things go right. Now I always hope for the best and brave the disappointment when things don’t go as planned.
20. I adore making lists. I make lists for everything. It may be a way of procrastinating to avoid the actual task at hand, but it’s compulsive and out of my control.
21. If Ashton Kutcher lived in South Africa I would become a proper stalker – seriously, the restraining order kind.
22. I always reply to emails and hardly ever reply to smses.
23. I tend to forgive and forget far too easily.
24. I can spend vast amounts of time in my own company and never get bored. Having a much older brother meant that I needed to learn how to entertain myself as a child and I’m glad to have that skill later in life. Until I met FD I craved loads of alone time, but now I find I can still maintain my Zenlike-state with him around.
25. Along with rest of my generation as a result of the movie ‘It’ I have an irrational fear of clowns. I also have chiroptophobia, a fear of bats. I don’t understand their purpose in this world.
26. I’ve never bought lettuce from a green grocer in my entire life. The idea of picking it apart, washing it and possibly coming across a worm completely freaks me out. I will only buy it pre-washed in a packet from Woolworths.
27. I used to have a massive complex about my height – I’m about 5’3 which isn’t even excessively short compared with other women – but I used to refuse to wear flat shoes until about five years ago.
28. I can tap dance… I can also do modern and hip hop… pole dancing is next.
29. I have a small Taurus symbol tattooed onto my lower back.
30. My favourite indulgence has become freshly brewed imported coffee made with a plunger – usually brought to my bedside by FD.
31. I think I enjoy horror movies but I actually hate them. When ever I go and watch one I end up hiding behind my popcorn box the entire time.
32. I can’t have a room mate – when The Ron moved in for a couple of weeks I nearly killed him in cold blood.
33. I can play the guitar – an ex taught me the basics and after we broke up I carried on teaching myself. I can only play cheesy drunken sing along tunes but I love it.
34. I love watching rugby live or on TV. I don’t feel the same way about cricket.
35. I have a book where I write down all sentimental smses that I can’t bear to delete forever – I’ve been doing it for about five years now and its almost turned into a bit of a diary documenting relationships as they take their course.
36. I used to be a hoarder but now I’m a compulsive thrower-awayer… all sorts of vital documents have hit the bin since.
37. I don’t like cocktails. Except for mojitos. And pina coladas. And daquiris. And caparinhas. Okay, apparently I do like cocktails.
38. I think Elvis is fabulous. So is Oprah.
39. People used to say I spoke with a posh accent after I left high school as a result of my snooty private school education. Fortunately I now speak like the rest of the country.
40. I won’t eat game meat. I also won’t eat veal. I do, however, eat lamb. Apparently in my head baby cows don’t deserve to die but baby sheep do. I try not to think about it too much.
41. I haven’t smoked a cigarette in four and a half months. I still crave one every once in a while though.
42. I think gerbers are just the prettiest flowers in the world. And jasmine smells the best.
43. My maternal instinct hasn’t really kicked in yet. The only kid I really love is my nephew. I’m hoping when I eventually have my own something will kick into gear.
44. I think the Red Hot Chili Peppers are demi-gods.
45. I really wish I wasn’t fascinated by the Hollywood antics splashed across the pages of Heat magazine – but I am.
46. I can only read trashy novels when on holiday… either rubbishy chick lit or gruesome, nail biting crime thrillers.
47. I have two t-shirts with Madiba’s face on, another with a map of Africa and yet another with Jozi’s skyline – I wear my patriotism with pride.
48. I’m allergic to the nickel found in metal – which means I can’t wear jewellery unless it’s platinum or gold.
49. I’ll share anything, except popcorn in a movie.
50. I’m going to Mauritius next week – woohoo!
1. I’m a dog person – especially the tiny, fluffy rat-like kind. Not really the Tinkerbell sort – but my heart turns into warm gooey melted chocolate at the sight of a Yorkshire Terrier.
2. I adore reality television, especially Bachelor-esque ones, I get indescribable joy at watching the claws come out and the snot en trane that accompanies it.
3. Until recently I was a serial monogamist. I went straight from one long term relationship into another until Italian Ex Boyfriend and I broke up and I stayed single for over year before meeting FD.
4. I’ve got a recipe book addiction. I hardly ever cook anything out of them but I love flipping through the pages.
5. I have an extra rib. I didn’t know about it until I put my neck out from sleeping in awkward positions in the bus on a Contiki tour. We had a chiropractor on the tour with us (pretty good luck that was) and when she popped my vertebra back in she pointed out that I had an extra rib where my neck meets my shoulder – apparently it’s pretty common. I still think it sounds pretty weird.
6. I don’t like spa treatments. Yet people always seem to think a spa voucher is the perfect gift – when Italian Ex Boyfriend gave me one for my birthday I knew the relationship was over.
7. I’m not particularly keen on chocolate. Every once in a blue moon I’ll have a craving but a tiny piece is enough to satisfy me for ages after that.
8. I adore epic, fantasy movies… Lord of the Rings, 300 – totally my cup of tea.
9. I’m also a total sci-fi geek. I have Season 1 – 3 of Battlestar Galactica on DVD. I blame my brother – he’s 10 years older than me so I was watching Star Wars from birth.
10. There are certain childhood experiences I completely missed out on. I never watched Mary Poppins, and I’ve never eaten Jungle Oats or Pro Nutro.
11. I don’t like weddings. I like the idea of marriage – but if eventually I could totally skip the wedding part and go on a magical honeymoon instead I’d be a happy camper.
12. It takes a lot to stress me out… no matter how much work demands of me, I’ll usually just switch off before I get stressed. Only strained relationships between friends, family and lovers stress me out.
13. I hate fleamarkets. As soon as I set a foot in one I want to run screaming for the exit.
14. I love musical theatre – I was raised on The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I have a total weakness for Andrew Lloyd Webber productions like Cats, Phantom of the Opera and Jesus Christ Superstar.
15. My family are Jewish – my immediate family (with the exception of my brother) are all non-practicing. I have no interest in it whatsoever. I’ve also never dated a Jewish boy and have no Jewish friends. My mother still has the Jewish insatiable need to feed people though. FD digs it.
16. I could eat sushi every day of my life and never get bored of it.
17. The same goes for most Asian cuisine – especially Thai and Chinese.
18. I want to love scuba diving but I just don’t. I can’t understand it because I love the ocean and have always been a water baby but there’s something about scuba diving that freaks the crap out of me.
19. I used to believe that I should expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised when things go right. Now I always hope for the best and brave the disappointment when things don’t go as planned.
20. I adore making lists. I make lists for everything. It may be a way of procrastinating to avoid the actual task at hand, but it’s compulsive and out of my control.
21. If Ashton Kutcher lived in South Africa I would become a proper stalker – seriously, the restraining order kind.
22. I always reply to emails and hardly ever reply to smses.
23. I tend to forgive and forget far too easily.
24. I can spend vast amounts of time in my own company and never get bored. Having a much older brother meant that I needed to learn how to entertain myself as a child and I’m glad to have that skill later in life. Until I met FD I craved loads of alone time, but now I find I can still maintain my Zenlike-state with him around.
25. Along with rest of my generation as a result of the movie ‘It’ I have an irrational fear of clowns. I also have chiroptophobia, a fear of bats. I don’t understand their purpose in this world.
26. I’ve never bought lettuce from a green grocer in my entire life. The idea of picking it apart, washing it and possibly coming across a worm completely freaks me out. I will only buy it pre-washed in a packet from Woolworths.
27. I used to have a massive complex about my height – I’m about 5’3 which isn’t even excessively short compared with other women – but I used to refuse to wear flat shoes until about five years ago.
28. I can tap dance… I can also do modern and hip hop… pole dancing is next.
29. I have a small Taurus symbol tattooed onto my lower back.
30. My favourite indulgence has become freshly brewed imported coffee made with a plunger – usually brought to my bedside by FD.
31. I think I enjoy horror movies but I actually hate them. When ever I go and watch one I end up hiding behind my popcorn box the entire time.
32. I can’t have a room mate – when The Ron moved in for a couple of weeks I nearly killed him in cold blood.
33. I can play the guitar – an ex taught me the basics and after we broke up I carried on teaching myself. I can only play cheesy drunken sing along tunes but I love it.
34. I love watching rugby live or on TV. I don’t feel the same way about cricket.
35. I have a book where I write down all sentimental smses that I can’t bear to delete forever – I’ve been doing it for about five years now and its almost turned into a bit of a diary documenting relationships as they take their course.
36. I used to be a hoarder but now I’m a compulsive thrower-awayer… all sorts of vital documents have hit the bin since.
37. I don’t like cocktails. Except for mojitos. And pina coladas. And daquiris. And caparinhas. Okay, apparently I do like cocktails.
38. I think Elvis is fabulous. So is Oprah.
39. People used to say I spoke with a posh accent after I left high school as a result of my snooty private school education. Fortunately I now speak like the rest of the country.
40. I won’t eat game meat. I also won’t eat veal. I do, however, eat lamb. Apparently in my head baby cows don’t deserve to die but baby sheep do. I try not to think about it too much.
41. I haven’t smoked a cigarette in four and a half months. I still crave one every once in a while though.
42. I think gerbers are just the prettiest flowers in the world. And jasmine smells the best.
43. My maternal instinct hasn’t really kicked in yet. The only kid I really love is my nephew. I’m hoping when I eventually have my own something will kick into gear.
44. I think the Red Hot Chili Peppers are demi-gods.
45. I really wish I wasn’t fascinated by the Hollywood antics splashed across the pages of Heat magazine – but I am.
46. I can only read trashy novels when on holiday… either rubbishy chick lit or gruesome, nail biting crime thrillers.
47. I have two t-shirts with Madiba’s face on, another with a map of Africa and yet another with Jozi’s skyline – I wear my patriotism with pride.
48. I’m allergic to the nickel found in metal – which means I can’t wear jewellery unless it’s platinum or gold.
49. I’ll share anything, except popcorn in a movie.
50. I’m going to Mauritius next week – woohoo!
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